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Feb 2019
You were backstabbed by your dearest ,
the once sincerest of all
This especially surged shambles
Penetrating inside
How agonizing it is ..
to hear your heart ripping to two.
Thank god  it never crosses ur mind to do the same
To betray the last person who matters to you
Julia. her name is Julia



You are resolute — you hold on tightly to all your credence  , thoughts , and most importantly— the loyalty of your beloved ones
The loyalty , trust , and love - infinite love
Until you’re smacked , bashed ,starved , electrified

Oh oh
Excruciating pain your feeling
You Can’t stop reeling
Unbearable
You pray
You keep hoping to lose your conscious
To black out
To not endure such tormenting pain
Die already die

You’re bruised , you’re broken , you’re torn to pieces. Dead inside out
Yet you’re still holding on
But not so tightly this time.

More beatings more punching ( banging)
You Confess  You confess anything and everything
What you did and didn’t do
Treason . Burglary . ******. Sabotage
In hope of perhaps stopping or somehow assuaging the pain
Your Words left  unheard , your voice fading
More smacks More stamps (slaps)
Yet you’re still breathing why are u still breathing ??!

They place you in-front of a mirror
Who is this figure on the wall?
Quite familiar, yet unrecognizable
Who might this be?
Who is this bony , bruised ,extremely hideous figure??
Then it strikes you
Oh my oh my

This time
You permit
What permission?!
You Resign
Resign the full control
You give in the person on the wall
Nevertheless
You’re still clenching
You’re endeavoring to clench on the farthest end
On the last string of the rope
   Loyalty. It’s called loyalty

( Room 101)
Until phobia strikes
“The worst thing in the world” they said
“It can’t be rats”
“It can’t be ****”
Uttered Julia and Winston in the same time

Take her
Take him
Do it to her
Do it to him instead
Did u mean it
You meant it
To relieve the pain
You released the last string of the rope
You now know you’ve lost it all
Two plus two equals five
Hurrahed the party with triumph
They’ve done it
They’ve done it at last!

—- ——————————-

The impacts of torture ( Psychological and Physical ) my friends is elusive , indescribable
Starving , ****** , scaring , blackmailing, electrifying , Exploitation of phobia , Confinement, Injection
All is inflicted(implemented) in 1984

The purpose?
To stupefy and drain you
Empty you out of love , affection ,hope - all humane feelings
To lose your self
Give in ur minds
And lose loyalty and affection for the mattered one
The person you thought you loved
You did love more than anything in the world!
But how ??
how did you choose Yourself over the one?The one that mattered the most??

Then you know you’ve lost it all
You then know they’ve succeeded
They torn your heart and soul away
Empty empty is what you’re feeling
Oh wait
You’re not feeling
You’re not feeling anything at all


—————-
Inspired by George Orwell’s 1984
Written by
Farida Tarek  16/F
(16/F)   
91
 
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