Tilting and turning, my perspective slightly shifting.
Questioning what’s happening.
Hating that for a moment I trust your intention
More than
Every bit of myself,
A strange shuffling that sounds
Like a collapse,
I don’t understand deep inside my self,
I clutch my chest,
But I ignore it, eyes low deserting my
Self-respect.
Trying to process feelings from my stomach
In my head.
You lied about listening to the silence,
This one was screaming broken by past violence,
Perhaps that’s why I felt like crying.

We go on like we don’t know,
Like I can’t taste the acidic tension,
Like you were to deaf beyond empty chatter
To hear the shatter,
Of my fragile trust, the slow dyeing of my gentleness.
Pleading with myself to let it go,
To carry on like I shouldn't know.
Wishing it didn't feel like lying to never let it show.
But I was shrinking, and shifting, and hating myself
Because it happened and it was me.
Because it happened and it was you.
Because I was nearly silent,
And it breaks me up, to hear you crying.
*** I only want to bring you higher,
Don’t let yourself become a regret
And I won’t become,
Everything I should have said.