By. Lauren

You ask me how I am and I just have to say fine.
Because,
how do you explain an illness that nobody can see?
It's like you're drowning, but nobody can save you.
I suffer from a chronic illness,
but
how would you know?
Because, my pain is as invisible as my illness.
To you I'm fine.
To you I'm far away from being sick,
but
my body is slowly rejecting me.
I did not know that this would be my life.
I just woke up one day,
and this was my new beginning.
For you every day is relatively easy,
you say oh I'm having a bad day,
but if only you could see how every day for me is a constant battle.
For me my body is saying no.
If only you could see how my body refuses to get out of bed, as the blood rushes from my head down to my legs.
I just wish that the world could truly see how much I am hurting,
and know that this is not going anywhere.
I wish people would realize what chronic truly means.
Yes, one day I could wake up without this just like how I got it,
but that's not likely, at this moment.
I'm not just going to recover.
You tell me, oh I hope you get better soon.
I hope you recover before school starts. This is why I don't want to call this an illness.
Because, it's a syndrome I'm going to suffer from longer than you could ever imagine.
This was not something I chose.
This is not something I would make up.
I can't really even function.
I miss going out with my friends.
I'm not trying to reject them, just some days I wish they could realize how much my body is rejecting me not them.
For me my illness does not define me,
but for me, as well,
it is going to be everlasting.