It's all I can do to keep myself contained
How much louder will it get? I can't
Bare it, I can't. I need someone, I can't ask.
Help me, just listen. Let me speak, let me talk,
Let me explain. I'm obsessing, I'm weak. I'm a
Fool. I need to sleep, but my mind? It won't allow it.
It's taunting me, I can't bare it, I can't stand it.
Friends? Where are you, I need you. Please, anyone.
I don't know how to do this alone, I don't even know
How to explain it, I just know I need you. I can't
Reach you, any of you. You're all there. You're always
There, where I can't find you as much as I need to.
I'm getting so angry with you, all of you and I hate it.
Nobody lets me explain anything. I'm branded, a
Freak, a stranger, a girl without a heart but I do have a heart.
If I don't, then what is aching?
Physically it hurts. I think, and it hurts. It aches. It feels so lonely.
It's not the place, it's the people. Not even the people - these select few.
Why am I so selective? Why did I choose people who are busy?
I need someone and I don't know who.
I can't sleep, when I do I never want to wake up. I'm struggling and I
Can't convey this to anyone. Why does everyone keep telling me to
FORGET ABOUT IT. Let it go. Don't worry. Chill. Cheer up.
You don't get it, it's not about you. You feel better saying those things
but I don't. I feel empty, being pawned empty advice that does nothing.
There I go again, getting annoyed because you don't get it.
I've been saying thank you and I feel a little lighter, temporarily.
I wake up feeling the lowest I possibly could.
I work feeling the most inadequate I have ever felt.
I return back here to a cold and empty house. It's brilliant. I love it.
Nevermind, it doesn't matter. It will go away eventually.
I will just have to say what I need to say to myself and hope for the best.
I hate this.