CRASH as my fist collides with the wall and the ripples of skin moves and break drawing the blood the resides in the crevices BANG as my other hand collides with my face and I soaked in my own self hatred and blood that is trying to cover up the wound as I cry at what I have done to myself I feel the sorrow welling up from those around me as I have turned my self into the spectacle of pity i turn around to see the family who loves and the friends who care all seem to become sullen as my anger wells again and I can that heat from it and become addicted to that warmth so as I go to smash that wall I can finally breathe a sigh of relief as I have taken it all out on them wait oh that's right them  here I sit in that warmth so why I am not sad