Molly Upstairs was the first to greet me as I moved in immediately she showed me a new tattoo she had just had done upper left arm it looked like a dart board she didn’t say why but within five minutes I had learned her father had been abusive she had crap taste in men always went for muscle over brains her fatal flaw and how she paid for it oh how she paid but I benefited from the muscle as she hollered up the stairs and a huge bloke in a grubby bat wing tee shirt and denim cut offs appeared grinning, calling me Chief, and carried the rest of my gear in without complaint and Molly Upstairs told me a Norwegian lived on the ground floor computer geek worked for a software firm on the edge of town renting cheap creaming his expenses and a guy called Sanjeev lived next door to me sweet guy from Mumbai always looking to borrow an iron and to go out for a drink with anyone at anytime anywhere another computer nerd she reckoned and she was all legs and little denim skirt and a pink tee-shirt that said ‘**** Buddy’ and blond hair pulled back in a black scrunchie and offered to bake me a cake but she assured me it wouldn’t be a sponge one know what I mean the peel of crazy laughter from above the sound of Red Hot Chilli Peppers starting up pounding bass the shower’s **** the landlord’s a **** if you’ve got a motor don’t park out the back it’ll get nicked best to drink and smoke to dull the pain but always remember to have a laugh