You tell you love me, you tell me you dont. You tell me to come over, you tell me you miss me, you tell me you want to talk, you tell you want a hug, YOU TELL ME LIES. You give me false hope of something you claim can never be. You had my heart and you ruined it. Now my physical heart can reflect my emotional one. I feel like a ******* caged animal. My escape routes have all been cut off. My friends. My family. You. You most important of all. The one who has told me NOTHING BUT LIES. Ill be there for you. LIE. We can still be friends. LIE. All you have ever done is LIE TO ME. How do I know anything we had was real. Anything we had was true. How can I believe anything was real. If you ever truly loved me even for a moment. Then prove it. Sit down and give me the ******* respect I am owed. I helped you when your mother was abusing you. I helped you when your father was still a **** to you. I helped you when your step father would yell at you. I helped you when your own βfriendβ threated to **** me and when you would come crying to me because of how scared you are of her. Yet look who you went back to almost immediately. The same person you were terrified of.
You lied to me every chance you had. You built me up just to break me back down like some ******* block structure. You told me to stop drinking. But do you know why I started drinking in the first place. To numb the pain you caused. To fill the hole where my heart had been until you ripped it out. You told me to stop cutting myself. Do you know why I started. Because of the lies you kept telling me.
You got angry when I would talk to my ex. Yet you were the reason I started communicating with them again. You pushed me so far. So far off the edge. And they cared enough to pull me back. They gave me the support when you refused. They were the friend I needed. You thought she was a threat to us. But she literally spelled out to her that she wasnt a threat.
Whether or not any of this is right or wrong. I will never know. You still have yet to talk to me. After the countless times you have promised me. You still have yet to talk.
The thing that I hate absolute most. More than the lies. Is the fact that no matter how much I want to. I cant be mad at you.
I hate that feeling. I hate not being able to get mad. I hate the fact you make me feel this way. I hate so many things. Except for you.
You told me you wanted a life with me.
You told me you would always be there for me.
You told me I was your world.
You told me so may lovely things that made me fall deeper and deeper in love with you.