Strange but true. This morning, I could hear my cat and dog fighting downstairs as cats and dogs do, only this time, the words were clear and loud / maybe I'm a pet whisperer.

Dog:  You don't give a **** anyone but yourself! Why did you have to gobble up my food?
Cat: Don't be such a ***** and stop whining! Finders keepers, losers weepers!
Dog: You're such a diva, you think you're a prima ballerina!
Cat: Shut up you try-hard! Fool!
Dog: At least, she can count on me.
Cat: Count on you? For what? To guard the house? Get real! You'd be bought off with a nice piece of steak like anyone else!
Dog: I'd never let her down, don't bluff, don't double-cross.
Cat: That's why you're an idiot! I don't jump through hoops without dead-certain gravy. I lounge around in a sunny warm spot and purr my way to grub.
Dog: That's for sure. The trouble is, you're useless!
Cat: Who gives a rat's ***? I'm no groveler or lick-***!
Dog: Yeah, you're a chancer. You pounce when it suits.
Cat: That's how I like it, life's dandy! Anyway, I think she admires that about me, wishes, she could be more like me, definitely not like you!
Dog: Maybe. But she'll always be more like me than you.
Cat: Sad but true!

I could hear the catflap open, the dog's paws on the hall floor. Got up, stayed in my PJs and spent the day sitting in the sun.