As I sit waiting in my lonely castle, gripping onto the parapets, I pray that I can keep myself away from the fringe of reality

And though I am not lost, it still drives me bonkers that I cannot raise myself up as some sort of merciful avatar; some sort of pillar that cannot be driven into a tailspin as gravity falls around it

Yet, I find that I have leverage in this scenario—that my choices do not fall on pale wings supported by goodfeathers

Somehow this calms me and keeps me feeling supported in a world of alphas, and I know that my final words—even if they do not end with me yelling eureka—will have the effectiveness and power of the big bang theory

And I carry on in thought, yearning for some sort of fairy tail that doesn’t need to begin with “once upon a time,” but that can still lead to a grassy meadow where I can my lay my hands on just one firefly

So I pull on the cape that I was given from this King of Queens, ready to chuck myself over the ledge of the tower, fearing that these pocket monsters I carry with me will do nothing to save my fall

And even though I’m mad about you, and even though I feel like I’m stuck somewhere in the middle, I trust that my life will be saved solely on the fact that I am a person of interest to all

For now I see the end and fear the worst, surrounded by freaks and geeks, by a full house in dire need of home improvement

And despite the fact that family matters, I find that I would give it all away to help a lost girl if it meant saving me

In the end I grab the block of black and, with regret, I end it all with the click of a button