My mind is at war with my actions
Running and running
Dodging mines at every turn desperately trying to keep you happy knowing that one wrong step I will explode into tiny bits and pieces,
amounting to nothing as I once did
saying you loved me out of spite
My heavy boots I pick up with every step I take knowing when I get to you I will regain your trust for the evening
Shooting me down each night in every ***** of my body with your hateful words knowing that your country will win the war in my head and I will forever lose
blood running down my thighs and into my boot
Falling asleep each night with fear that someone else could take my place
Knowing that your ego could fill the entire desert
losing interest in me as you wander away from the troop leaving me in the dark
the dark is a scary place when you don’t know where you’re going
when all you know is one person because one person and one person only feels like home and now youre bleeding out.
I watch as my blood pours out of my lifeless body as my words do on the page describing what hell I am experiencing being under your command and how I desperately need out

But you cannot just simply
leave the war.