I feel an Ache
It’s deep in my bones
Down to the very core of my being
And it makes me sick
Every time I’m nice
And am repaid in insults
Or mean jokes

I know I give out plenty of those
Cruel jokes
And mean insults
But sometimes
It feels as if they
Never compliment me
Never smile

My heart aches
When I try so hard
To change my ways
To change how they see me
And then
It doesn’t work
And my heart splits

So why?
Why do I continue to try?
Why do I bend backwards,
Sideways,
Into painful twisting shapes,
Just to please people?

My heart
It constantly aches
And I’d give anything
To make it stop