And sometimes
You'll abuse yourself
Because you feel like you deserve it
Everyone else abuses you
So you must deserve it right?
You'll feel relief in knowing
It's the one time you get to control the abuse
You're in control
Wrong
You're so wrong
You're so wrong if you think abusing your sweet self will make anyone love you any more or any less
You're so wrong if you think you're benefiting yourself
You're so wrong if you think it's the only way to get all those emotions out
I know the second your skin splits open
And you see the hurt fall onto the floor in the form of iron droplets
But the only thing you're doing
Is staining that bathroom rug that your mother bought you to match your shower curtain
And waisting bandaids that are used to heal you're brothers scraped knees
And leaving scars on your silk skin that will never leave your body or your mind
and
You're so wrong if you think that's right