Forget the post code lottery and go for some sort of Middle England coterie beware of the railway towns and all they used to promise avoid the light industrial towns the ones that make biscuits and plastic windows and trap your children in call centres the comfort of non-jobs selling nothing to people who are nonetheless convinced they need it and avoid cities with cathedrals and universities they are artifice personified they have only one aim to debilitate you with pretense and false hope and sophistry deep in Middle England and Do Not Go To Cities With Ports they are as thieves in the night forever looking for opportunity eternally gazing outward beyond the boundary of shores unwaveringly scathing of convention and respectable behaviour And ignore dormitory towns exurbia and similar designed only to eat and sleep in and cut the grass although the swinging scene may have its diversions and then those army towns cowering below the shambling spectre of beaten squaddie pubs concrete and brick boxes with overflowing bottle banks and what of flower filled market towns with neat shops and bi-weekly markets and Friday night louts and teeming takeaways and broken windows but you can escape to a suburban bungalow lock the gate feed the carp watch wildlife progammes and laugh then running running running you find a suitable small mountain village where you unwittingly unexpectedly after stroking a black and white cat get run over by a drunken postman in a neat little red van.