Every night I fight the feeling of sleep
For when that beast begins to creep
into my body
I alarm myself with a continuous beep
A siren.
A shock.
Caffeine.
Anything to prevent a leap
Inside the abyss of my mind I find
many things askew there is nothing I can construe
My dreams leave me shaking and begging for awakening
each one mars my sanity as I writhe in agony
You see
every night
for almost a year now
I die in my dreams
They are quite vivid deaths some I can even feel.
I've been stabbed and beaten
with knives and tire irons
Shot
dissected
crushed
and impaled by metal beams
I've been skinned alive
set on fire
murdered several times
eaten alive by spiders and beasts. Some of which too horrific to describe
All I can do is fight in vain and be an unwilling audience to my own demise

There is some kind of psychological aspect to this I have yet to understand

I always end these hellish nightmares the same way
screaming at myself to wake up and hopefully I do.
I am haunted by something I do not understand
I know this because I can feel knocking on my soul's foyer