Jan 2013
4.
I remembered the world
For what it seemed
For what it was.
I just remembered being.
And I remembered everything.
From holding my mom’s shivering hands
To watching my grandma descend from this world
From the sun rays that shined upon the beach
To the moon that cowered behind the buildings.
It all seemed like a distant dream
A dream worth seeing
6.
The loss of our home
A simple one story with three bedrooms and one bathroom,
A simple home in a simple neighborhood.
Gone,
In an instant.
Welcome to the apartment story
Population: The Diaz.
With only one friend made
I wonder how much of my sixth year of living do I remember.
That I can ever recall
7.
Packed bags
Packed moving truck.
Off to the North for this So Cal Babe
Because maybe just maybe my mom doesn’t have a pathetic excuse for a family
Maybe they’ll come to see her.
Or maybe we’ll be ignored
****** like **** that doesn’t belong in a sea of flowers
****** like sailors out in horrendous weathers.
How is it that my mother was the only golden child out of these coal filled children?
8.
A new life
A new home
Can’t believe I made any friends
Can’t believe I still hold onto one.
Can’t believe I fell for the other one.
11.
From apartments to townhouses
Just down the street
Further and further away from him
A start of a whole new chapter
I furthered myself from religion
Furthered myself from faith
I just kept on living on
Didn’t think too much of anything
14.
A new chapter starts again
While everyone moves on from childish games
Playing in the big league
While getting lost in the High School hallways
I remained true to myself
True to the inner me
I had forgotten what it was like to be an embarrassment
Forgotten what it was like to not be me.
I continued my childish acts
And continued on this path I set for myself
I looked towards writing
Connected with the dead.
I found my passion in words
And my words in worlds
And even my worlds in dreams
I no longer knew what everything seemed to be.
16.
I dreamt of him
Dreamt of us
I fell in love with those dreams
Fell in love with him
Or perhaps I’m just low balling it
And just stuck with the whole dream thing
Stuck with the whole dreaming someone means they were always thinking of you
Because perhaps I wanted to believe deep down inside his mind
He always had thoughts of me
17.
Graduated with no honors
Don’t know where life will take me
Don’t know what to do
All I know is
My pathetic thoughts, imagination, and stupidity let someone else take him away
I lost sight of where I wanted to be
Lost sight of he who belonged in my dreams
Reality took over me
And dreaming was the only thing that let me be.
18.
Still alive but I’m barely breathing
Still alive but I’m losing grip on everything
Still trying to survive
Still trying to go on
I’m just aging day by day
While I watch the leaves float on by
I watch the parts of my life flutter away.
I want to start over again
I want to wake up when I was 4
Restart life all over again
With the knowledge that had been
I want to change what I’ve done
Re mold myself to a better person
But wishes don’t happen like that
Got to work with what I have
And mold a better tomorrow
From the crummier today’s.
But on the bright side,*
With too much philosophy on my mind
Sometimes
I’m kind of excited where my life will be.
I remembered the world
For what it seemed
For what it was.
I just remembered being.
And I remembered everything.
From holding my mom’s shivering hands
To watching my grandma descend from this world
From the sun rays that shined upon the beach
To the moon that cowered behind the buildings.
It all seemed like a distant dream
A dream worth seeing
6.
The loss of our home
A simple one story with three bedrooms and one bathroom,
A simple home in a simple neighborhood.
Gone,
In an instant.
Welcome to the apartment story
Population: The Diaz.
With only one friend made
I wonder how much of my sixth year of living do I remember.
That I can ever recall
7.
Packed bags
Packed moving truck.
Off to the North for this So Cal Babe
Because maybe just maybe my mom doesn’t have a pathetic excuse for a family
Maybe they’ll come to see her.
Or maybe we’ll be ignored
****** like **** that doesn’t belong in a sea of flowers
****** like sailors out in horrendous weathers.
How is it that my mother was the only golden child out of these coal filled children?
8.
A new life
A new home
Can’t believe I made any friends
Can’t believe I still hold onto one.
Can’t believe I fell for the other one.
11.
From apartments to townhouses
Just down the street
Further and further away from him
A start of a whole new chapter
I furthered myself from religion
Furthered myself from faith
I just kept on living on
Didn’t think too much of anything
14.
A new chapter starts again
While everyone moves on from childish games
Playing in the big league
While getting lost in the High School hallways
I remained true to myself
True to the inner me
I had forgotten what it was like to be an embarrassment
Forgotten what it was like to not be me.
I continued my childish acts
And continued on this path I set for myself
I looked towards writing
Connected with the dead.
I found my passion in words
And my words in worlds
And even my worlds in dreams
I no longer knew what everything seemed to be.
16.
I dreamt of him
Dreamt of us
I fell in love with those dreams
Fell in love with him
Or perhaps I’m just low balling it
And just stuck with the whole dream thing
Stuck with the whole dreaming someone means they were always thinking of you
Because perhaps I wanted to believe deep down inside his mind
He always had thoughts of me
17.
Graduated with no honors
Don’t know where life will take me
Don’t know what to do
All I know is
My pathetic thoughts, imagination, and stupidity let someone else take him away
I lost sight of where I wanted to be
Lost sight of he who belonged in my dreams
Reality took over me
And dreaming was the only thing that let me be.
18.
Still alive but I’m barely breathing
Still alive but I’m losing grip on everything
Still trying to survive
Still trying to go on
I’m just aging day by day
While I watch the leaves float on by
I watch the parts of my life flutter away.
I want to start over again
I want to wake up when I was 4
Restart life all over again
With the knowledge that had been
I want to change what I’ve done
Re mold myself to a better person
But wishes don’t happen like that
Got to work with what I have
And mold a better tomorrow
From the crummier today’s.
But on the bright side,*
With too much philosophy on my mind
Sometimes
I’m kind of excited where my life will be.
