i met her at the bar
we had been introduced
by mutual friends
and soon we were back at
my apartment
and i could feel the weight
in my chest
every time she smiled
or laughed in that reserved soprano
she had a beautiful voice
and we lay in bed
and talked and kissed
and over everything else
enjoyed the night
but soon she turned to me
and i asked what was the matter
she was scared she told me
because she knew me
she said
because i wasn't a good man
she said
because i was tall and strong
and old
and talk such bad language
and have been with many women
they are all ******
i told her
***** and ugly and meaningless ******
compared to you
but she didn't believe it
'i am another of your ******'
she had said
'to be ****** and forgotten'
no no no
i promise
but she wouldn't be convinced
and i didn't know how to fix it
i pleaded with her
no no no
she wouldn't stop
another one of my ******
just another one
though she was far from it
and i lay next to her
getting farther and farther away
unable to do anything
as my terrible and unwanted past
reared its terrible and unwanted head
and ruined love
once again