i wake up
in the morning
crooked on the mattress
all turned around
black eye
swollen jaw
reminiscent
of a night i
refuse to remember
bless the small graces
of the subconscious
the brain is burning
in it's sockets
consequence of a chemical
i swore
to be rid of
what a life i live
counting down to
senility
and death
speeding up the clock
with forty creek and rat poison
sticking a knife in my stomach
to call it a good time
can't get the taste out of my mouth
like rust and vinegar
can't open my jaw
the night
retreats
victorious and grinning
it has claimed me
once more
this cycle is tiring
the hull can't hold
ship soon sunk
the whole world greyed
by a sunrise i can't see
and a life i seem to have
lost control of
the edge has gone
the sharpness in the contrast
no vivid blues
when i see the sky
no no no
only grey
cold and unwelcome
each morning
you wake
and it seems a little worse
the body can't keep
this up forever
that's what your doctor said
that's what your woman begged
but there is comfort
familiarity
in the blurred sacrifice
of terrible numbness
and as i awake
every morning
i almost see the golds and greens
but a little color
goes each time
and now there is only grey