I've tried to make a list
Of the seven deadly sins
Now pay very close attention
To where this list begins

The number one sin
Much worse than them all
Is never marry a woman
Til you meet your mother-in-law

The number two sin
Is almost just as bad
Never say, "Who's the father?"
When you become a dad

The number three sin
Is probably very well known
Never forget your magazine
When going to the throne

The number four sin
Unless you've hidden the bat
Never tell your wife
She might be getting fat

The number five sin
When it's time to watch the super bowl
Never let your chick flick wife
Get the remote control

The number six sin
And this one I'll repeat
Before you leave the bathroom
Put down the toliet seat

The number seven sin
Last but certainly not least
Never tell you wife
Your paycheck has increased

If you commit just one of these
Not only will you fail
But life is over as you know it
For she'll make your life pure, well, ( you know )