This is a feeling that
resonates within me

and makes me quiet.
I feel empty
and wanting.

so empty, yet so full
of wanting more.

I know how my life
looks, I know how
I want it to look

and I want you in it.

Maybe I'm just *******
scared of transition

Maybe I've realized
that i'm terrified of
being alone.

So I use people

like teddy bears. I
hold them close,
sleep with them every
night
         sigh into their
soft       fur

               and kiss their paws

But eventually, I throw my bear
                                           to the
garbage.

And I try to sleep
without it, but
the nights are cold
and scary
So I ask Teddy
to come back.
But Teddy's not the
same.

                 Teddy doesn't soothe.


So I get a new bear

never happy


It's this feeling

that resonates in me

that I'll always be here,

with or without a

******* teddy bear

and I should

teach    myself to

feel good,

even when I sleep
                     alone.



                   Is that it?
                          Am I just
                           scared of
                        alone-ness?

scared of the night?


But I feel it in my skin,
in the follicles of my hair,
and behind my teary
           wet eyes

That

          Oneday

I will walk down the
street at night.

Daring someone to
cross my path.

Wearing high heel shoes,


just waiting for someone

                            to fall in love
with my glowing smile

and my radiant hair,

just so I can say,

    "no thank you."