i just hope if you ever leave you tell me before hand
i hope you tell me the love is gone
i hope you tell me in detail everything i did wrong
i wonder if you love me like you claim you do
or if you love me because its convenient for you
do you reciprocate my words with meaning
or are they hallow to keep me around?
do you make love to me for the feeling in your soul, the feeling you feel after, for the passion,
or do you do it for the satisfaction?
i contemplate on asking you, but would that make me insecure?
a person like me just needs to be sure, this love cant be like the one before.
i think i feel for you
i hope i haven’t just convinced myself that.
are you convenient for me?
am i using you to fill the hole that he left so hallow and cold?
a dark empty room
if you scream there’d be a echo
or do i love you?
i wonder if we think the same
are we both just convenient for right now?
is the void filled, for right now?
is this just right, only for right now?
i like to think about forever
seeing is believing.
i like to think about me folding your laundry and picking you up when you need me.
i like to think about seeing you become the man you need to be
but is that just me being me?
are my words just as hallow as i paint yours to be?
am i what i hate everyone else to be..?
do i say things because they sound good or do i say them because thats how i feel?
i think i feel
did i forget how to feel?
my love for him ran as deep as the ocean
id walk a thousand miles just for him to to tell to leave
id run to the ends of the earth for him to tell me he didn’t ask for that
id do whatever to make it work.
did i lose my touch of passion?
did i forget how to really love?
am i forcing such a deep connection because it feels good, because it’s convenient for right now?
because its getting me through the storm of him, are you boat in the flood?
did i call for help?
or were you just sent from “the man above”?
everything sounds good for right now
but it all does in the start.
will you do what he did?
will you soon pick me apart?
eat me alive, leave me to starve.
or will you fill me up until im full?
until i dont wonder if this is enough
until i love so hard that i can barely take it
until i forget where i went wrong with him and worry about where i can go right with you.
can you see my scars?
do i show that im insecure?
theres days where i want to leave you and let you go, without a word.
give you to someone who wont question your love
give you to someone whos sure of theirs.
and theres days where if you left
i feel like it’d hurt worse then when he did because i half way trust you, for right now.
what if hurt you like he hurt me?
am i capable of letting go even if this is all something i dont mean?
somedays i just keep asking you how you feel, because reassurance fuels me.
but is it making me just more sure of how i feel for you?
are you still going to be here tomorrow?
do you even understand me?
i dont trust words i dont trust actions i dont trust anything
tomorrow you could die for my love
and i’ll question if you only did it for the dramatics
if you only did it to play with me.
theres things about you that bother me
its like i want the perfect man
you promise change
i don’t want you to change
its makes want to leave but i promised i’d stay
i make alot of promises with every guy
i promise ill always be there i promise ill never leave i promise ill never lie
i never leave
im always there
i lie
something has to fall through
i want to trust
i want to really love
i want to feel it in my stomach
i want to feel in in my soul
i want to feel it in my bones
i want to feel again
when he left he took my trust with him
he took my heart with him he took half of me
do you miss me how i miss you?
did you find someone to fill your void too?
was there a void to fill?
you were lost before i met you, did i help you find a path or are you still wondering searching for you?
i want to save everyone but whos going to save me
i need some saving
but no ones got me like i got me
honestly i’ve barely got me
do you love me?
do you understand?
do you care when i say im sad?
do you wonder if i took my meds?
do you think about holding me when im falling apart?
do you think about me in labor with our first born?
do i remind you of someone else?
do i make you feel reborn?
im sorry my i love you’s might me hallow
i know i say them like their such a mouthful
i want love
i think, i want you
for now.