Jan 2013
Philosophies generalise the feelings of love. Too many people talk about how to feel. Famous people give quotes out like Kleenex and we 'the beloved' faint under the weight of them. Each awakened person seeking the truth from those who have experienced every human fear rationally. Love begets love. Hatred begets hatred. My mind begets my mind. I am like a heat seeking Labrador, seeking the truffles in the forest. Simple love appears to be simple. Nevermoreso that which a mother can give to a child. Even a child that doesn’t appear to be wanted or loved; the one that hides in the depths of our belittled subconscious. Rejectionment is a term that I have coined from the philosophy of modern society. Abandonment is a drug that we steadily take and fail to acknowledge the buzz of, buying more 'things' to fill a anxious fear filled void. We are the lovers, we are the thinkers, we, are the walkers of this earth; unimaginable freedoms we destroy.
How can one love oneself amongst the unimaginable pathetic existence we carve out, we bleed out and we live? I am because I feel. I follow because I was led, I fall because my feet catch me. I love, I love because this is what Disney stories and fairytales have taught us. I fear the heart that beats so deeply within this body. Detached, I feel from reality, because the stark realisation is too heavy to bear. That some lover will not think i am quite the picture of lover; that i do not feel to love myself equally. Yet I carry my arms; I have ammunition strapped to my chest; those that get clear have to sign treaties and pacts. Linguistics fail me; they speak unapproachable truths. A meaning is much better conveyed in silence, without looking into one another’s eyes.
Heart, passion, love – this is what I have to give – money, reliability, profession, friendship; this is all learnt. True love from ones’ mind is a given. Fear is learnt; hurt is learnt; embarrassment is learnt. Stories I have, tales I can tell, counsel I can give. I am NOT finished. I am NOT done.Thank-ing you. Flying free as a bird in flight; it's inside my soul - but my body is wrapped around capitalist chains – should, must, need, want; pleases, thankyous – a vicious cycle to make oneself feel worthy of the very being we fail to allow ourselves to believe in. We are not pretty, we are not amazing, we are not worthy unless we allow ourselves to be justified by something outside of ourselves.
So what can I do? Having an indomitable tower of strength inside this soul, face the world, against bombardment, against attainment and loss, figures and acceptance, congratulations and detachment. Music clears me, air clears me, understanding clears me. The world clears me. You clear me. Love, blinds me. See this, these words? This me thinking, this is me feeling, this is me. Love me, just me, I dare......
How can one love oneself amongst the unimaginable pathetic existence we carve out, we bleed out and we live? I am because I feel. I follow because I was led, I fall because my feet catch me. I love, I love because this is what Disney stories and fairytales have taught us. I fear the heart that beats so deeply within this body. Detached, I feel from reality, because the stark realisation is too heavy to bear. That some lover will not think i am quite the picture of lover; that i do not feel to love myself equally. Yet I carry my arms; I have ammunition strapped to my chest; those that get clear have to sign treaties and pacts. Linguistics fail me; they speak unapproachable truths. A meaning is much better conveyed in silence, without looking into one another’s eyes.
Heart, passion, love – this is what I have to give – money, reliability, profession, friendship; this is all learnt. True love from ones’ mind is a given. Fear is learnt; hurt is learnt; embarrassment is learnt. Stories I have, tales I can tell, counsel I can give. I am NOT finished. I am NOT done.Thank-ing you. Flying free as a bird in flight; it's inside my soul - but my body is wrapped around capitalist chains – should, must, need, want; pleases, thankyous – a vicious cycle to make oneself feel worthy of the very being we fail to allow ourselves to believe in. We are not pretty, we are not amazing, we are not worthy unless we allow ourselves to be justified by something outside of ourselves.
So what can I do? Having an indomitable tower of strength inside this soul, face the world, against bombardment, against attainment and loss, figures and acceptance, congratulations and detachment. Music clears me, air clears me, understanding clears me. The world clears me. You clear me. Love, blinds me. See this, these words? This me thinking, this is me feeling, this is me. Love me, just me, I dare......
