Have you made it yet?
Have you found what you are looking for?

You’re still lying.

I watch you in your yellow and your pigtails.
All you wanted was a Polaroid summer.

You got what you wanted,
people and all.

How did it turn out for you?
Positive? Better? Lovely?
At least that’s what you tell the world.

But I heard you talk about how tired you are.
I know the look of annoyance in your eyes.
I see that you don’t love him, that that passion is burning out.
And I feel your icy stare on us.
Knowing what’s going on that you can’t be a part of.

I watch the gears shift as you process what you have lost.
You compute how I have adapted.
And what all I have.

That sticky sweet is still there, except this time it isn’t malice.
It’s desperation.

Deep down I want the best for you.
I really do.
But I am ok now and you chose to walk always.
So I cannot use my carefully stored energy running after you.

I’m sorry that you don’t know happy,
Because I know that you are not.