I hope she makes you happy,
Because I see you.
Stressing to convince yourself that she is what you need.

I feel how hard you are pushing.
Trying to force everything to fit in the small holes in your heart.

What you don’t realize is that they are pinholes of starlight.
However, you see them as black holes.
But the thing about black holes is that they will never be filled.

I hear the tones in your laughter.
Sharp.
Hard.
Forced.

What used to be bubbly from your chest is now squealing from your nose,
Rising in pitch with every second.
The legato that was once your voice is now biting staccato.

I see your face changing.
The fire in your eyes is gone,
And it is replaced with tension in your jaw.
with a sticky, dripping smile.
It’s so sweet and artificial that I feel sick.

I become exhausted as I watch you strain,
Forcing yourself to believe that this is right.
I hear the strain as you lie.
The tone in your voice whines as your mouth struggles to shape unfamiliar words.

You try to drown out the warning bells with frills and complements.
But I know you.
And I know that you find peace in silence.
And I know that your face aches with the forced emotions.
And I know that your vocal chords are strained with someone else’s voice.
And I know that your mind hurts as you try to replace it with something else.
And I know that your heart hurts as it tears under the weight of it all.

Despite it all,
I love you.
I hope that she fulfills you,
Because I know that she hasn’t yet.

I pray that you are happy,
because I know that you are not.