I AM RUDE .
I'm the rudest ******* you'll ever see.
The sailors and bus drivers, in all their glory,
aren't as half as rude as me.

I AM SARCASTIC,
I am not being sarcastic at all,
I mean you're doing sooo great figuring me out,
It's not painful to watch at all.

I AM INSANE,
The maddest horse in the senate,
Or was it the Caesar I cant remember,
I'm crazy **** it!

I AM SHALLOW,
If I had to spit or swallow,
I'd do both and say I had *** twice.
Just to feel nice.

I AM NOT A GOOD PERSON,
I am not a person at all,
I am a mirror of bad parenting
Lustful, petty and banal.