Paranoid

I’m paranoid that I’m being watched every second of everyday,

I’m paranoid that people can hear every word I say,

I’m paranoid that when someone likes me,

it’s fake,

and I’m paranoid that they’re all gonna leave one day.

I’m paranoid that I’m gonna die in my sleep.

I’m paranoid that everyone wants me dead.

I question every little thing if it’s reality,

or if it’s a lie that got out of hand.

I'm paranoid to talk to people in fear of rejection,

I’m paranoid to fall in love.

I might seem strong on the outside,

but my mind is just jumbled up lyrics that don’t make a song,

and thoughts that just keep echoing on and on,

life is a nightmare,

death is a dream,

because I’m scared things are not what they seem.

I want to open up my brain,

see what’s inside,

see if I really am out of mind.

What makes me tick,

what made my thoughts sick,

am I fixable,

or just a test of time,

will I get worse,

will I get better,

will my thoughts be forever jumbled together.

I want to know what makes us think what we do,

what controls our feelings,

our minds,

and holds them correctly like glue.

What fell out of place,

what happened in that empty space,

that our minds now fill with jumbled thoughts and different perceptions.

I want to fix me,

I want to know what I really am,

without these horrible thoughts haunting me,

taunting me,

without all the things that make me paranoid.

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