They watch me
Endlessly
As if the the bars on the door will suddenly dissipate due to my extreme will power for them to vanish
I stare back at them wondering
Am I a problem to them or a person?
Someone who is invading their time and space
Or a human being with feelings and trauma who needs help
They treat me like the former
I want to tell them that it doesn't matter
That they can treat me however they choose
But the words never come out
The constant drug cloud I am under suffocates anything that dares to cross my lips
Why can't I say that I'm not here anymore
That I don't know who I am anymore
Why cant I say that all that's left in me is a built up scream that is struggling to get out