Sometimes i like to imagine what life could have been like if i never met you.
I could smile each day whilst being confident in myself
Wear the clothes i always liked.......vintage dresses with laced socks.....hair in a bun.
I could speak to people ive never met without feeling anxious. I could look in the mirror and actually like what i see. I could go swimming without feeling self conscious about the size of my thighs. I would be able to go out with friends to have a few drinks.I would be able to study hard and go on to have a good career. Food.......i could eat all the pastries ive always wanted without the feelings of guilt.....self hatred....self loathing.....but of course i cant. You make me scared to wear anything nice.....a simple black cardigan will do. ....i cannot speak to anyone....not even the lady who runs the corner shop.