Did I mention that I'm scared of heights?
Well, I guess I probably just did
See, that's the reason my step ladder
Well, my wife, makes sure it's hid

Now I can climb anything at all
But my problem is coming back down
Even if I'm standing on a step stool
It feels like twenty feet from the ground

Now, I'm also a little claustrophobic
Okay, maybe, I am a lot
I feel like the walls are closing in
Even tho, I know that they're not

I also have a touch of arachnophobia
A fear of spiders, not ants
Cause everytime I see one, I scream
And it causes me to wet my pants

Okay, stop laughing, that's not funny
Cause I'm a little bit scared of humor
See, I used to play practical jokes
Til they told me it would cause a tumor

You've heard, "There's nothing to fear but fear itself?"
You guessed it, I'm scared of being scared
Now, you better stop makin' fun of me
Don't make me regeret that I shared

You already know what scares me the most
Yep, it's my mother-in-law
The most hideous creature to walk the earth
By far, the scariest of all

Okay, I'm scared to end this poem
What if I can't think of anything else to write?
LOL, I know you know that I'm kidding
Everyone knows me by now, tho, Right?