did you hear the one that goes
“every time i try to make a **** joke,
it always comes out a little too… forced.”
no, i haven’t
but have you heard the one about
the girl who can no longer sleep without
waking up in a cold sweat because
the room was too cold and
his hands were too cold against her
already frigid skin
have you heard the one about
the girl who has trouble
walking down the street in the dark now
it’s a nightmare for her
she quickens her pace,
clutches her purse closer to her side
like it’s her sanity
have you heard the one about
the girl who bursts into tears
at the mention of December fifteenth,
how her mind replays the events of that night
like a broken record
over and over and
oh god when will it be over
every memory comes back
without her asking for it,
without her consent because
oh, he didn’t get that from her either

these jokes are made all the time,
but no amount of humor lies within them
the truly funny thing about it all,
are the reactions from the people
we expect would have enough sense
to understand that it wasn’t her fault
to understand that she didn’t want it
that she wasn’t “asking for it”
that she didn’t deserve it.
i told my sister about December fifteenth and she said
“maybe if she hadn’t been drinking,
she could have pushed him off.
said no.”
i told my father about December fifteenth and he said
“maybe if she had just not gone to the party,
he would have never seen her in the first place.”
i told my guidance counselor about December fifteenth and she said
“look at this picture.”
she showed me a picture of the girl from my history class.
lindsay.
“look at what she was wearing,” she said.
“don’t you think that maybe… she was asking for it?”
i looked at her with pure disgust. she quickly corrected herself.
“asking for attention, i mean.”

i took a moment to look at the picture she showed me.
there she was - sweet, darling lindsay
‘never seen without a smile’ lindsay
‘always willing to help’ lindsay
‘straight a’s good grades’ lindsay
she was beautiful.
she had a beautiful smile,
a beautiful mind,
a beautiful heart.
and he took it all from her,
along with her virginity
don’t you dare tell me
that he did it because of
her outfit.