I spend lots of time now
just being alone
no texting, no emails
no Facebook, no phone

This turmoil I'm feeling
is not something new
it's been something that's been there
that had started then grew

I've tried to live life
by my own made up rules
always falling and stumbling
have acted the fool

I'd come to a crossroads
at this point in life
needed a change of direction
a path without strife

Lately life's challenges
have thrown me some curves
found myself praying
examining his words

He said, "Have faith, love, and patience
have a good heart throughout
though life's indiscretions
make you give in to doubt"

A sign he has shown me
though I'm in such dire pain
"New life cannot flourish
without patience and rain"


I went to church to pray, I mean really pray. It's been such a long time that I've gone to church with my heart my hands. I was at the lowest point spiritually, that I have ever been in my life - I asked for a sign

(It was a windy day. The sky was as overcast, cold, and cloudy, - my spirit and mood have much the same been the last few months).

He showed me a sign.

(At that exact moment, as I asked for him to help me, begging him... for him to listen... I felt a soft pressure on my right shoulder. It felt warm and comforing... as if someone had placed their hands upon me).

Tears came flowing from my heart, from my eyes, down my cheeks, neck, chin, and chest, to rest on to my clasped hands...

(I was the only one sitting at the back of the church, and as I looked over my shoulder, I noticed a large leaf had blown through an open window, and landed on my shoulder).

Now the tears came flooding from my soul!


So I'll give in, and not feel
that it's just up to me
I'll have true faith in the Lord
and take a, "Faith leap!"

Now with a heart
that's a loving and contrite
I'll trust in the Lord
to take up my fight




An Awakening © 2019 Roberto Carlos