i am stuck in a place
of so badly wanting to be happy
and doing nothing about it
it’s not that i don’t want to do anything
i do
but there is something stopping me
from changing anything
because what if
when i try to make it better
i make it worse
and i flip the small switch
that brings me back
to that terrible place
and i let myself get swallowed
over and over again
i am fighting this private war
but the battle has come to a standstill
there are no victories
there is no action
i have to do something