To my friend who I’ve let down.

It feels as if my proclivity to think of myself before others and to not consider how other people may feel has finally presented true and real consequences.

She won't talk to me anymore.
Won’t give me the time of day.

It’s different from before, when I was able to patch a wound with a verbal apology.

Now I’m trapped in an echo chamber where all I can hear is my own voice repeating “Im sorry”.

So what now?
Where do I go from here?

Do I pull the same empty, soulless  apologies that I’ve repeated since the 1st grade, only adding to deepen pitch of my echo chamber?

Or do I face the fact that she’s never coming back, never unblocking me, never being my friend again?

But why should she?

What does she have to gain?

She could accept my meaningless words sent through the phone of a friend.

But for what?

To become infatuated and obsessed again, only for me to break her heart and use my ex girlfriend as a scapegoat, to hide my fear of her.

I see her point of view, and I see yours too.

Until such time when I emerge a better man, a real man, who knows how to treat a lady with the proper decency and respect that any human deserves. I shall remain in this echo chamber.

And I don’t expect any more from you than to leave me on read.