No. Stop. Please. Don’t call me nice or strong or admirable. Because I’m not. I smile and laugh when you joke and tease me, but on the inside it hurts and shakes up my self esteem. You call me strong but that’s while you ignore the silent tears rolling down my cheeks. Admirable? Only because I know how ****** it feels to be on the receiving end if I were to act and speak the way my mind wanted to. I try to sit pretty, laugh and give witty comebacks, but I keep having to bite my lip and blink rapidly up at the ceiling so the tears don’t flood out. But do you see that? No. Because you’re scared of my breaking down. You don’t know how to react when someone who comes off as sturdy and laid back as I do falls apart. That’s how everyone reacts when I get shaken. They pretend not to see. People say whatever they wish to my face because they think I can take it and not be hurt by it. But it does hurt. Especially when you say bad things about people I love, especially when I’m already hurting over them. I wish people would just once watch my face when they decide to say those things about my family, friends or me. I wish people would just once see the pain that quivers in my eyes, or the tightening jaw and bleeding lips. I wish just once..someone would stop mid-sentence when they see me shaken, and just pull me in for a hug.