When faced with darkness for extended amounts of time
You become used to it
You find comfort in that dark corner of your mind
Thoughts running free
You learn to embrace every dark thought
Never seeing the knife until it's in your back
The steady rise of the tsunami with each new thought
The big wave finally comes crashing down
Stripping me of my tears
My memories scratch their way out of the tight box
Coming from every angle, the unwanted emotions
The insults come swooping in
The self hate worse with each thought
My body shakes with the sobs
My pillow covering muting me
I feel dizzy
I feel sick
The wave retracts and I am left raw
I pick myself up
And adjust my mask
I'm ready to go on.