In my dreams I break the teeth out of my own mouth and then pray to go back
Back to the way it was before I went and broke my own back
My mind is a bull and my skull is fine china
Someday I’ll break
Break my way out
Til then I shake with no medicine
No holes to let the light in
My brothers are busy pretending to be soldiers
They don’t know that there’s no war
Just an endless realm of night terrors
That somebody told them were borders
My body went outside today and everyone I met asked it how I felt
So I lit their hair on fire
And woke up tied to my bed with all my teeth still tied to my head
In the part of time that isn’t dream
I’m obsessed with being clean
I wash my bones with salt water
And try hard to believe in a god
But mostly I just get sad about my past
I want the lilacs back
I want it to be someone else's fault
These waking hours are made of mica
They are shiny but
The pieces are always peeling off
From beneath all the buildings on my street
It’s happening so slowly
So slowly that we’ll all be dead by the time we get wise
When I’m young again I’ll learn to speak
I’ll tell the sky what it’s like to be a soul stuck inside a head
And I’ll ask my future what it’s like to be dead
I’ll tell the sun about dreaming
I think it would be hard to be always awake
I’ll ask these new gods where all the old gods went
And could I maybe talk to one of them?
How did my people wind up worshiping clocks?
I’ll keep asking questions until time turns around
She’ll pull my hair and kick my shins
‘Cause that’s what sisters do
I’ll just be thankful that she noticed me at all
Someday I’ll get tired of asking so many questions
And I’ll quit having such tiresome dreams
I’ll lay down tasty
Flesh is food for hungry ground
Someday I’ll figure out how to be awake when I’m not asleep
I’ll tell myself all the secrets I’ve been trying to keep
But I’m really only good at speaking in my sleep