In God I trust or is it in me God laid trust?
Well God I need help, on the double
Trouble stirs every journey into my mind’s jungle,
trying not to crumble.
My mind tells me to produce things to prove I’m elite
and until I can stop trying to critique
every single feat, being the elite
is a characteristic I continue to seek.
Perfection technique.
And perfect means without flaw
and I have too many falls, too many flaws
to answer perfection’s calls.
Which is why I sought escape,
emotions were lining up in check mate.
So we start the game once more,
imploring myself to sit with the emptiness,
until it makes me hard to the core.
Maximizing intellect, while trying to refrain
from outside influences influencing my brain.
Inner awareness, I consider it my 6th sense,
plus there is evidence to represent,
that my spirit was heaven sent.
Hell bent on finding purpose
on the surface: calm and collect
deep below my character defects start to reflect,
on things I’ve been trying to forget.
Second guess that I’m not like the rest.
Addiction holds a price over my head
crosshairs blood red
probably should have ended up dead,
But the greatest minds never show defeat
Retreat? Never I’m stronger than most
my addiction became a ghost,
hostile when provoked,
who haunts me wants to see me choke,
so I’ve been coached
on how to handle then dismantle
any adversary I cross in battle
describing my ample abilities
to beat enemies envious and after me
I’d rather die before addiction catches me to watch me bleed
that means carrying a steady lead