My eyes are welling up
the tightness in my chest
strikes pangs of restlessness

violent & shaking I'm trying to drown you,                              
I'm trying to **** every single ounce of desire for you                
for what I once had, I once had you all in cupped hands          
& like sand you poured out from between my fingers              
gaps I could not close, & nothing to do but watch you            
leave me for years                                                            ­            
        s                     l                      i                       p                          
away.