today was another day,
I woke up to your text messages of longing and love,
I read each one and then deleted them all, No more they screamed from the ramparts of my heart,
I went outside for a smoke and in between each drag my mind reflected on your moments with me,
I go inside and eat and then begin to work out, and still my heart does not forget your voice,
Sometimes the ghost of your love becomes too much to bear and I cry, behind doors, alone; I cry and wipe the tears away and continue to live,
You send me pictures of us smiling, you in the wedding dress I took you to try on, radiant and beautiful,
Still to this day I dont know what we were doing, we went to the mall and you tried on those dresses, we made up a story to tell the woman working there about how we were going to get married, how we had it all planned, how everyone would be there and how wonderful it would all be, how the only thing left to do was find the right dress, and so you picked them out and tried them on, each one more beautiful then the next,
I remember how out of all the fancy ones with bright shiny things on them I liked the plain white one the most because it was all your natural beauty would allow, I remember how you beamed behind your veil and how in that moment you were my source of joy and belonging.
Afterwards you took the dress off and came out dressed as you were before and still I saw you in that dress. We walked hand in hand and then drove home, each of us happy and in love, and still that night as we made love I saw you in that dress.
And now as I cry and write and smoke, when I think of you, I see you in a dress of white, smiling behind your veil and saying you love me.