Before the medicine
my pages were blank
only notes
important things
things i wrote down
so that i wouldn't forget
and i wouldn't mess up
i started taking little pills last spring
they make me feel better in lots of ways
no more racing thoughts and heart
no longer afraid of my own shadow
but most of all
they filled my pages with pictures
doodles really
just little things
insignificant
one would think
things i had always been afraid of
fear of failure
of not being perfect
my poor anxious mind
too afraid to let myself see what i was thinking