I see it,
I jump,
I almost fall apart:
That is how life has been
For a couple of years past.
Something pulls me from the back,
And something pushes me so hard.
Lost in lack of equilibrium -
Incapable of moving an arm.
Trains rushing towards me
Phasing right through me
And I stand.
I take a breath.
I pant.
I whisper to myself
Because my lungs cannot function right:
It will end.
It will pass.
The train goes
And all my strength I catch
Until another breaks everything I touch.
From afar I see
Passengers getting in and out
But all this time
I never entered one.
I was always in the way
Of all the storms of winter
But not even once
I could admit out loud:
I am so cold tonight
And I just want to fall apart.

11:38
10/12/2018