I noticed your face as you searched for me within the crowd.

I saw, and once again remembered each crease and line of your skin,
and with shallowed breath,
I took each one in.

They suddenly seemed so deep, framing the window that I once had looked into.
A window that first was shut,
but had been opened to me,
and I hoped that it should be like that again.
That it would be you that met my direction,
not the conservative shell that met others and usually constituted your business.
  
Despite your puffed, ridged stance, with hands clasped neatly in loose fists against your thigh.
Your eyes still glistened and shone as they darted,
and their beauty radiated a warmth and calm about your presence that softened your nervousness.

I saw too, a small smile.

It made me smile,
And I mirrored you, but with inward sighs.

Perhaps you felt the same?

But each time you failed to find me,
I saw that it faded,
and with slightly lowered head,
A look of longing and sorrow seemed to encompass your being.

I don’t know why, but I felt pity for you in that moment.

You seemed so lost,
so detached,
and I found it hard to not reminisce on how we would soon be parting again...

and that hurt me deeply.

But then your eyes met mine,
and with a burst of life...like the month of spring renews nature’s life.
They shone out to me,
and your smile lit up your face.
Every step that you drew to me,
made it impossible to deny, that I loved you!
And in that moment I knew it,
Yet too, I knew that you were not mine,
nor would ever be.


I’m sorry that I lowered my gaze.

I wanted you to read my face to see what I was thinking,
to know that I was full to bursting with emotion as you gently touched my arm, but i was afraid.
Afraid for you to see my soul, only to then loose you again.

So I remained still and cold.

And through crushing your spirit I let you go.