My mother-in-law is a zombie
I'm sure that woman is dead
I tried to drive a stake thru her heart
And even cut off her head

But she's just way to sneaky
She always knows I'm around
Cause everytime I try to **** it
She says, "Can I get you to drive me to town?"

And let me tell you about the odor
It can make a grown man cry
Her perfume is, "ode de la zombie"
You know, embalming fluid, after you die

She walks around, in the middle of the night
Trying, to make me her slave
"Will you get me this, will you get me that"
I even dug that woman a grave

Zombies also have real bad breath
It smells like ***** socks
And they don't have a tooth in their head
You'd think they been chewing rocks

Now, not all mother-in-laws are zombies
I think it's probably just mine
And I don't think they ever die
Cause mine's been around a long time

Sometimes she just sits amd stares at me
I mean, can you imagine anything worse?
Then she mumbles some kinda mumbo jumbo
Like some kind of voodoo curse

I've been feeling kinda strange of late
Sometimes, it's hard to think
She probably cast some kinda spell on me
That's causing my head to shrink

Well, that's all I can tell you for now
I've got another grave to dig
I gotta hurry before my head keeps shrinkin'
Cause my hat's already too big