noon
I am surrounded by people who I cannot say are my friends, but who laugh with me.
Even though things are horribly, horribly, wrong-
This moment, is alright.
My head, heavy and burdened with anguish is diverted
My eyes flutter lightly
Look up
And land upon your face
Vehemently, so painfully, suddenly
My eyes drop
As if to hide from your gaze
You barely look at me, but I feel you seeing me
Everything about me becomes so apparent
My crude mouth, scowling
My crooked teeth, yellowing
My hands, fumbling and fat
I drop my head in embarrassment
Embarrassed to even exist
When I look up, your head is down too, you are smiling to yourself
You look beautiful.
The folds around the corners of your mouth show all your character
Your hand moves to your head, to brush a piece of hair away
Every movement is fluid, and perfect
Your stature radiates in its casual but sturdy slump
I look at you and think back to the Statue of  David, by Michelangelo
To me you are a spitting image
Everything inside me crumbles
I feel wrong to speak to you, though I’ve know you so closely, and for so long.
The fact that you acknowledge me, though you hardly do is humbling, shocking
All in one instant I am both crushed and appalled by you
Even without your rejection I dismiss any hopes that had lingered of our union
I realize my fantasies are absurd.
I could disappear in that instant
Slowly fade to a solemn shade of black and never be seen again by human eyes
By your eyes
I wish I had never met you
Wish you had never been dangled before me to lust after, long for
Only to all be crushed by that span of seconds
When my eyes met that smile
That god ****** smile
I pray that you leave until I can’t bear it anymore
And when you’re finally gone, the relief is sickly
Whatever you saw can’t be unseen
Whatever you’ve taken from me by your eyes and your ears is now yours