it creeps upon her now,
so cold and unwilling to let down.
mercy is not in its wake,
and i dont know how much of this i can take.

ive hated her as long as i can remember,
and ive awaited this week for two years come December.
but days have passed,
and the time is here,
and right now its for my mother that i fear.

im not so sure how i take this.
i don't know yet if im hurt,
or if i am to be saddened.
ive hated this woman for as long as i can remember...
but that was before death stole her picture.

shes been his target for quite some time,
even been willing to offer a helping hand,
but now shes the victim, now his fight has begun,
and shes to weak, to small, to fragile to ever say she's won.

realization has settled in now,
and im not nearly as cold as i once was,
but do i show care, compassion and love,
to a woman who never showed it to me?

i guess ill wait until her death day,
and see what emotions that brings.



her death day has come and passed,
and emotions i felt at last.
July 21, 2007
tears filled my eyes as she entered into heaven.

a lifetime wasted,
for the last few years of her life
it was my hate she had tasted.

saddened my heart is now,
that i didn't try to forgive her somehow.

listen to this and take heed,
a life full of hate is not what you need.
find some way to forgive,
and you'll have found a new way to live.



don't harbor hate,
once they're gone
you'll only end up
hating yourself
for your ignorance.