i woke up this morning
feeling at ease
today was "the day"

      oh, don't be alarmed
spare me some charm
     i truly won't be missed

if anyone happens to wonder
  for the sake of table-conversation
     the cause of death was overdose

oh no! i wasn't troubled
     tortured or muddled
i just saw through it all

like a moth to a flame
   death called to me by name
blinding me
      until it was
           all i could see

i wasn't leading a life
  i was merely following one

i was winter when it was fall
a large in a small
nothing ever
quite
fit

it wasn't always this way
     i remember:
pink robes
    stationary
              gel pens

depressed mother
absent father
    i guess you were always there for me

it's hard to plan your day

no friends
no mail
no drive to do anything

my will
         it's inside
the closet

i am sorry
    you will lose your job
so i've left you
                         all my money

my mother-
       the rest of the pills
i will surely pass out
       before the bottle is finished

my father's inheritance
doesn't fall too far from the tree;
absent.

i have no friends
   i only have my poetry
        please submit it for me

i could never do it myself