It's 5 am im laying in bed
My heart feels as heavy as lead
Can I just write with it instead?
Can i project whats in my head?
Alright lets see if it can be said.
Lets start at the beginning
Its been 5 years and still no beat
I feel like my heart is concrete
My life is automatic
Everything is the same
It doesent matter if theres sun or rain
Wake up and dance do my thing
Why do i still not feel anything...
Pull up my phone swipe left and right
All this has done is maybe fill a night
Not fix the void in my life
Turn to the page my soul as the ink
But still all my heart does is sink.
Another day another week
What is this mess is all I can think
Why would anyone even give me a wink
My screen lights up
Notification recieved
Who's this staring at me?
Nah it simply can't mean a thing
Next day same deal.
Is what im seeing real?
Nah it cant be im the damaged goods
Can't you see all these cracks?
Oh wait I hide it to well
Im sure i look swell.
Alright lets see where it leads I mean shes pretty
Thats something anyone can see
But theres no denying shes a mystery.
Can i look around the corners of this bend?
See what lies down the road ahead?
"Im broken too is what she says"
This stoic person strong and tall?
There is no way that she could crumble and fall
But no it's true if you look hard enough
You can see the chips and cracks in her heart
Even though its tough
How could I think it was only me?
Im starting to see the cracks in her seams
Two people cold and broken
Each one cornered by their own emotion
I dont want to start any commotion.
Here we are talking each day
Relating to our individual pain
But there weird this is the more that we say
The lighter my burden is in a way.
Another late night
Another set of texts
All i want is her caress
Don't say too much
Don't overshare
Don't say you want to play with her hair
Don't kiss her
Don't say the wrong thing
That inner monologue still screaming
Can I really say something?
Is it okay to be rebuilding?
One night I tell her these things
And how does she reply to me?
My screen lights up
My heart tenses back up
Her reply is something i couldn't make up
Something that I would have never though to read
She tells me similar things
But whats most confusing
Is for all the beauty and good I see
When she looks in the mirror thats not what she sees
Its just truly puzzling
"Im broken im shattered, theres just too many pieces scattered"
That's no problem is what ill say
There has to be some way
I should know i've been broken enough
Wait why don't i feel as rough...
We are the same
Circumstances change
Im silently reassembling a frame
Take your pieces and fill in the blanks
You have already recreated my picture
I close my eyes and i see your face
You make my heart race
This old machine that was broken down
Now won't stop pounding or making this sound
Hopefully these words echo and resound
Hopefully you see you are found
Dont be scared to let your heart pour out
Your cracks can be filled
I have a new mold
You put me back together
Without even being told.
Was this poem for me or you?
Im starting to get lost too
I'll wrap this up with one more line
You are red
And I'm blue
What happens when you combine the two?