I didn't know better
But the rabbit hole she was
Went far deeper
Than I could breathe.
All she seemed was a girl in need.
All I had was a desperate urge
To dive in the deep end.
Spend sleepless nights at the weekend
Showering her with help,
Smothering her with support.
If there's a will, there's a way
And I willed for her to stay
And not let go.

At some point I got lost in the webs.
Trying to help her up, I fell off the cliff edge.
She showed me the ropes
Of a numb existence.
She denied my persistence,
Ignored my resistance.
I turned to a knife
To open up my skin.
I turned towards pain
To indulge in my sin.
I turned towards forgetting
The dropped grenade pin.

She'd built me my prison
One I willingly lived in.
Because through the bars and scars
I could see her cell.
All the heartache and trauma
Never felt as virtuous
When I had a roommate to tell.