A growing pain takes over slowly
Squeezing the breaths out of me
Heart racing faster, my head is spinning
Everything else has lost its meaning

Now it’s only you, the ghosts of your hand
Gripping my heart till I can’t stand
Scaling my body, touching me slowly
I forget your hands have never known me

I forget that you weren’t ever mine
But I spent my days looking for signs
That maybe you loved me even just a bit
And honestly, I even thought you did

I was convinced you did but wasn’t sure of it yet
That we had a connenction from the moment we met
But I forget that you were always somebody else’s
And I realized that it was not you, but I who felt the connection

Yet I can’t help but hold on to the last stage of hope
That maybe you only said you loved her just for show
Maybe you say it because you feel it’s your duty
Maybe you don’t really love her and instead love me

But I’m tired of holding on to hope worthlessly
I’m tired of waiting for you to love me
Because I don’t want to be second choice not just an option
I’m not a pit stop where you can periodically stop in

I’m a woman, a storm, a chaotic mess
The ocean, the skies contained in a dress
And the hands that will take place of your ghost in me
Will not grip my heart but help it beat