grandma,
i have a really hard time with change
sometimes i cannot get out of bed
sometimes i cannot stop moving
sometimes my heart feels like a stopwatch
sometimes i beg my heart to stop
i cry a lot
most times i do not know why
sometimes my brain forgets it needs sleep
i stay up all night to ponder the productive things i could be doing
sometimes i sleep for days on end
my body has stopped feeling hungry
there are days where i completely forget to eat
there are days when food is my only comfort
i am very sad
i am very nervous
i am going to be okay
please do not worry, grandma
i am sorry i cannot feel normal
i am sorry sometimes it is too hard to fake happy