His rage ***** up into a fist,
Nobody loves me,
He says through his teeth.
A blow to his face, and then another.
Hitting himself is my punishment.

calm down

I hold his face,
It's soaked and burning.
Wrapping myself around him,
Protecting him from himself,
Screaming with whispers that
I've always loved you

He can't hear a ******* thing.

His arms are flailing
peeling me from him,
I'm locked, I won't let go,
And I'm telling him so,
But he can't hear a ******* thing.

"Nobody. Loves me."

Words fall flat and the air gets heavy,
He's silent, motionless.
The seconds are my punishment,
As his rage carries him to the stairs.

I hug myself,
Crying, again.
Why do you do this to yourself?
Pathetic.
Rocking, comforting my trembling hands,
His footsteps crack in the ceiling.
Bracing my body prepared to leave,
His footsteps weaken to the door.
I'm freaking out, I can't take anymore.
His first step is slow,
Then heavy and stomping,
He makes his way down..
And a shimmer of metal he holds in his hands,
Is put into a shotgun.

"Why don't you just, give that to me.
P l e a s e.."

At a crooked angle, it's in his head.
His eyes are empty.
My body is shaking, screaming,
dropping.
I close my eyes and
I can't ever open them again.